My childhood years were full of fun
I was a local squirt gun
Out of control and pretty wild

Eager to taste the juice of life
Those were the days I got hooked on
The sexy stud called Hedgehog Ron

Me and grandpa side by side
Watching !@$^ all through the nite


One, two, four, five
Watching !@$^ made me feel alive
Five, six, eight, nine

I want to make him mine

I have a crush on Ron Jeremy,

I have a crush on a Hedgehog
I have a crush on Ron Jeremy,
I wanna sleep with Ron


My childhood years they flew away
Watching his movies every day

He sure was hot, he turned me on
And I was on a hunt for Ron.


I packed my bags and ran away
To find my Hedgehog in LA
I intermingled with the stars

So I could get ahold of Ron

One, two, four, five

Watching !@$^ made me feel alive
Five, six, eight, nine
I want to make him mine


(chorus)


Hedgehog, you rock!
Hedgehog, you rock!


Soon I became a jet-set star
Drinking champagne with caviar
@@#!tail parties in Bel-Air

and got engaged to a billionaire
But I was still in love with Ron
The only guy that turned me on

So I became the Queen of Sleaze
And now Ron Jeremy's doing me


One, two, four, five (repeat)

(chorus)