I make my living off the Evening News
Just give me something-something I can use
People love it when you lose,

They love dirty laundry

Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here

I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear
Come and whisper in my ear
Give us dirty laundry


Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em all around


We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who
comes on at five

She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam
in her eye
It's interesting when people die-

Give us dirty laundry

Can we film the operation?

Is the head dead yet?
You know, the boys in the newsroom got a running bet
Get the widow on the set!

We need dirty laundry

Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down
Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down


Kick 'em when they're up
Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're stiff
Kick 'em all around


Dirty little secrets
Dirty little lies
We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie

We love to cut you down to size
We love dirty laundry


We can do "The Innuendo"
We can dance and sing
When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing

We all know that Crap is King
Give us dirty laundry!