Everybody; wants; a; reason; for; everything.; 
It's; so; much; easier; with
Someone; or; something; to; blame.; 

I've; always; struggled; at; the
Root; of; the; problem.; 
Has; it; been; absence; or; my; constant; lack; of

Defense?; 

I've; never; spent; a; lot; on; finding; a; remedy.; I; guess
I; figured; that; it; hurt; for; a; reason.; I; guess
That's; why; I've; always
Turned; to; writing; it; down.; Not; just; in; stories,; but; the; letters; in; between.


And; I; guess; that's; why; it; haunts; the; pages; of; everything?to
Self-examine.; 

I; think; the; thing; is; that; I; shut; off; from
Everything.; From; friends; and; family; and; my; own; ambitions.; From; having; fun.

I; just; shut; off; from; everything.; Self-defeating?; Yeah,; probably.; But; I
Don't; know; that; I; had; total; control; over; it.; And; I'm; not; sure; it; even
Matters; why.; Sometimes; things; Happen; and; you; can't; do; anything.; Plus,; I'm

The; only; one; who; deals; with; it; anyway.; So; if; everyone; could; do; me; a; favor
And; just; put; their; fingers; down; I'd?and; keep; your
Mouths?

Sorry.; I; know; I; seem; angry.; I'm; not,; I...; I; promise.; I

Just; know; I; did; this; to; me.; And; I; will; deal; with; it; accordingly.; And; I
Don't; need; opinions; from; those; never; a; part; of; it.; Don't; need; them; pointing
Out; my; problems,; they're; mine.; Don't; need; reminders; I; know; better; than

Anyone.; 

And; yeah,; I; know,; I; should; be; finding; another; way.; I
Know; that; I; should; be; out; seeking; a; Substitute.; But; just; forgetting; never
Really; made; sense; to; me.; 

So; I; haven't; been.; 

Do

I; feel; embarrassed; about; it?; I; think; you; know; the; answer; to; that.; I; think
You'd; probably; feel; a; Little; bit; embarrassed; for; me,; wouldn't; you?


I; know; I; should've; moved; on; ages; ago,; been; happy; already,; but

It's; never; been; that; easy; for; me.; Or; maybe; it; was; me; that; made; it; so; hard.


I; know; I've; only; ever; tried; a; handful; of; times; to; sever; this
Thing; torturing; me.; It; never; got; me; anywhere,; with; anyone.; No; friendship; or

Hobby,; no; lover's; bed; worked.; But; looking; back; I; Maybe; never; tried; hard
Enough,; and; it; is; my; fault.; 

Maybe; I; never; tried; at; all.