VERSE 1
In two rooms, separated
Questions come

And thereâ??s nowhere to hide
Coffee on the table
See if heâ??s able

To figure us out
A few sloppy mistakes
Gave us away

And the law tracked us down, down
A good cop ultimatum
An offer to make me

Sing of my love
But I knowâ?¦
CHORUS

Iâ??ll admit to doing a crime
Even end up doing the time
If it means Iâ??m saving a life

And can look into his eyes
On Judgment, judgment, judgment day (x3)
VERSE 2

No handshake was needed
A Faustian agreement
That Iâ??d take the blame

Brown bodies in chains
History showed me early
This would be my fate

His mama did the same
Gave her life just like I
Something like legacy

A body on the pavement
Lifeless and naked
No one knows but me

What we madeâ?¦
CHORUS
Iâ??ll admit to doing a crime

Even end up doing the time
If it means Iâ??m saving a life
And can look into his eyes

On Judgment, judgment, judgment day (x3)
OUTRO
He follows me wherever I am

Holds my hand and pulls me down from my 5â??10â? stance
Admires the curve of my vertebrae,
never afraid that my skin might fray

And always certain that my ligaments and tendons were made with him in mind
On summer Sundays, when we drive to the beach together,
I let him sit in the passenger seat

Even though heâ??s not big enough to do so
He kicks and screams
Throws tantrums when I put him in the back

Does not want to be forgotten
As time goes on
Heâ??s further from my thoughts

His cheekbones make me cringe. The way they sit there
Strong, molded, smooth, dark, and dewy
A proclamation of the man he wouldâ??ve grown up to be

The days he slips loose from my thoughts,
he reminds me of his omnipresence
At that point between wake and sleep, rolls over to nestle up beneath me

And breathes heavy on my neck. I sometimes wake in sweats
Shaking at the thought I may have suffocated him
But heâ??s never there

Curious heâ??s always asking questions. Where he came from, where he went
Why he looks so much like me, but not
Why I act the way I do when we cross paths with toddlers in the promenade

Why we do not celebrate his years with cake and candles
Why he never got a name
Guilts me into letting him call me mommy.

And when it echoes from my mouth
It shakes at first with trepidation,
then charges unstoppable like a freight emerging from a cave

He loves to close his eyes, hold his breath, and make wishes in the tunnels on PCH
The way we gasp for air melodically and reach for sunlight at the end â??
Both our inside and outside bodies together in unison â??

I know he is mine. He never tells me what he wants
Because heâ??s superstitious.
He gets that from his father, but I doubt he knows
He says the shore is the first place he remembers me taking him to,
and the water, on the days itâ??s blue

Reminds him of his birthday
VALLEY IDOLS
No oneâ??s supposed to be their own role model
Looking up to socialites and !@%!ed-out models
I made it out alive with a heart so hollow

Worshipping the shallow
In the valley of the fake idols
(Did I scare you?)