I just got back from the Local
Had to try the local brew
And I ran into the local gossip

And I learned a thing or two
All about you local yokels
And what ya get up to

And he read me your pedigrees
And I'll read em back to you


The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums

And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt


The local mayor's a ****** dickhead
His wife's the local snob
The local bank manager's a ****** wanker

And so's the local cob(?)
The local sparky a ****** cowboy
The local plumber's makin a mint

The local undertaker's a ****** weirdo
And the local lawyer's full of %#@!


The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums

And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt


The local butcher's full of blowflies
Local dogs are full of fleas
The local barber's a ****** butcher

Local coons are ****** thieves
The local caryard's a ****** ripoff
And so's the local show

And the local cop's a dead set cunt
But I mentioned that a minute ago


The local chef's a poofter
The local doc's a drunk
The local priest likes little boys bums

And the local cops a cunt
I said the local cops a cunt