When you $#&@ to forget and you drink to remember;
When the day's an inferno and night's are december;
When you're dreaming eternal, but living dismembered;

These are the signs of a carnal surrender.

When the minutes are needles slammed into your neck;

And there's nothing to die for or live to protect;
When your heartbeat's a ring tone and love becomes stress;
These are the signs of a heart attack chest.


When your losing religion and praying to god;
Ignoring decision and stumbling on

A place in your mind recognized as fascade;
These are the signs that your senses are gone.


When your bloodstream is violent, and air becomes ill;
When w a t c h I n g blood spill's a phenomenol thrill;
And your dying to injur and living to kill;

These are the signs that your losing your will.

When sleeping's proactive and waking's retractive;

And taking a beating's becoming attractive;
When going to work means becoming a captive;
These are the signs you're no longer reactive.


I'm losing my $#&@ing mind doing this %#@!
The old tender touch is a $#&@ing vice grip

The love and the lust are just fountains of hatred
And I frown on the norm but I'm doing the same %#@!


I hate myself worse than I hate why I hate myself
Make myself worse then I shake and I face myself
Make myself thirst then I wait and I race myself

Wake myself first then I pace and remake myself
Shame my self worth when I take and erase myself
Sleep and I wake just to fake $#&@ing chase myself


It's $#&@ed up how I never thought about suicide
Till I thought about how I never thought about suicide

You and I knew that it's the pain that makes the truest eye.
Talking to myself is the remaining hope to blue my sky.


God, if your there, I need answers to prayers, cause right now insanity looks like a $#&@ing vacation