Hello? Oh, you wanted to know if we could get dinner tomorrow night. No, it's just because it was a phone call and not a text I thought it would be much more important than that but okay. Yeah you should've just text me.

Yeah, you call me and it's dumb

I don't understand, did you lose function of your thumbs?
Is it really that vital
That you had to call to let me know that TV show title?


I mean you could've just texted it
Typed it, sent it, read the "k" and then just exited

Instead you like the complication
Of a poorly timed, half silent, pointless conversation


Why didn't you text me
Why didn't you just text me
Why didn't you text me

WHY DIDN'T YOU EFFING TEXT ME

This isn't 1929

Alexander Graham Bell with his stupid land line
You don't see it as a sign
That you're the only one that calls me

And at the worst times

So you call me on my birthday

And I mean that's nice and all but were the minutes really worth it?
Should I just cut off your service?
You deserve it.


B: Hey girlie!
K: Hey. What?

B: Nothing I was just wondering what time you're coming over later!
K: Oh are your text messages not working?
B: No, they're working. What do you mean??

K: No, it's just that you've already wasted almost a minute of my time when I could've been doing something else. Like I could've responded with a single number. That's it. 8. Like, That's all you need to know.
B: Okay I'll see you at 8 then!
K: No, OMG you're missing my point


Why didn't you text me
Why didn't you just text me

Why didn't you text me
WHY DIDN'T YOU EFFING TEXT ME


So I'm about to go get coffee
A double-shot quarenta mocha latte with toffee
And I decide to be nice

I text you asking if you want a drink, hot or iced

And you have the audacity

To call me instead, like what's your mental capacity?
5?
Are you serious right now?

Ummm I'll get a coconut milk tea

UGH I'm gonna punch you in the face

You're the bane of my existence and the whole human race
Basc
(that's an abbreve for basically)

You need to get with the times or I'm outtie seriously

You did ask for the T

I hope you gulped it down
Cuz you were definitely thirsty
For a reading that is

On second thought, you probably don't even know what that means

Wait, so, are you gonna get my drink or not?

Are two brain cells all you've got?
Honey, you know how this could've been avoided?
If I got a coffee :(


I'm done.