I have to stop listening to my ^&@#$
Listening to my ^&@#$
I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my ^&@#$


I should be studying and I'm working hard
My future depends on this bizarre?

Why am I standing in this noisy club
Where people are "Hey, what the $#&@"
It doesn't make sense, I hate this place

12 dollar drinks and a %#@!ty DJ

Obnoxious doucebags and easy girls

Oh yeah, that's why I'm here, the easy girls
I can't believe that is have come to this
Bla bla bla is rediculous


I know I sound sexist, but I'm a feminist
But the problem my dick is a navy guest

When it comes to arguments, he always wins
Rationality can not compete with !@($s


I lost my trade of thought, this girl's so hot
Oh here I go again, I have to stop


Listening to my ^&@#$
Listening to my ^&@#$
I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my ^&@#$


I hate this girl, why am I talking to her?
She's a horrible person but my mind's a blur

She's wearing a skirt and a push-up bra
God damn her and that push-up bra


My mind keeps telling me to walk away
"Jon, just go home and !@(#
Don't waste your money and your time

With this really dissing girl
That you don't even like"
But my dick is like "Hey! I'm here to stay!

You're gonna do as I say! First get her drunk
It will be easier. And if she wants to dance
Then $#&@ing dance with her"


But I hate this music and I hate dancing
And there's no way I can afford all these drinks

"Hey! Do what you have to do to get me inside!
You know very well you won't win this fight"


So five minutes later I'm on the dance floor
Dancing to Kesha and I hate that hoe
And I hate myself and I hate my @@#!

It's hard as a rock and I have to stop

Listening to my ^&@#$

Listening to my ^&@#$
I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my ^&@#$


Stumble out of the bar, it's 2 in the morning
Dead on the inside but still ^^&$#*
So I try to get this girl back to her place

But she says she's hungry so I have to wait

Now I'm in a diner, it's almost 3

She's talking about her captive reality tv
I really should just go home and get some sleep
But the !@#$ cleavage is staring right at me

And I just wanna spend a little time in there
Which reminds me of a flow? by Voltaire
Anything to stupid to spoken is sung

And I have been singing a lot since I have begun

Listening to my ^&@#$

Listening to my ^&@#$
I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my ^&@#$


So I'm back at her place 4 am, finally play time begins
All my hard work is about to pay off
But all of a sudden there is a knock on her door
She starts to freak out
She tells me she thought her boyfriend was out of town


He kicks the door down, I jump out the window
I didn't even have the time to grab my coat
So I'm running like a mother$#&@er down the street
Fully erect and still ^^&$#*


I finally give in, this has to stop
So I hide in some bushes and I start to jerk off
I'm almost done when I see flashing lights
A squad car appears right out of the night


I try to run and that's when I###
Surrounded by cops at the break of dawn
See, this is what happens when you listen to your dick
You become an irrational insane prick


Now I'm sitting the cell, ashamed and naked
How the $#&@ am I gonna explain this to my wife and kid?

Listening to my ^&@#$
Listening to my ^&@#$

I swear I would be a genius If I stop listening to my ^&@#$