If Stewart talked, what would he say?
Enough to keep you here ten more years
Where we shock ya with our 'therapy'

Throw the switch on your fantasies

With our little electronic ring

Clamped around your little thang
Flash ya pictures, Clockwork Orange-style
Let's see what makes Stewart smile


Yow! Yow! Yow! Try not to expand
Yow! Yow! Yow! Don't trip the Plethysmograph


If the machine catches you erect
Ain't no way you're getting' outta here

Back to aversion therapy
As we watch our toys watch you


Flood your face with ammonia gas
And the scent of rotting placentas
Little electric shock or two

This is how we cure you

Yow! Yow! Yow! Don't dare to expand

Yow! Yow! Yow! Can't trick the Plethysmograph

Little girls and boys, Panties past their thighs

Try not to rise (3 strokes you're out)!

Comely amputees scratch themselves for fleas

Down at Muscle Beach (3 strokes you're out)!

Grand Wizard Newt in a sailor suit

Dancing with a flute
(3 strokes you're out)!


Brazilian babes !@%$ made of clay
Spread their waxy legs for Great Danes


Who invents this stuff? Do their kids join cults?
What do they fantasize to get themselves off


Wanna see child !@$^? Join the vice squad
In the name of correction we play with all we want


Nothing is private any more
Lie detectors were never this fun
Says the Attorney General Man

As he ends the morning prayer meeting

Back to his office for electronic ring

Clamps it on his sinful thang
Rewind the tape, lemme see some more
So I can feel my eagle soar


Yow! Yow! Yow! He's speaking in tongues
Yow! Yow! Yow! Now he can't shut it off

Yow! Yow! Yow! Crashing through the glass
Yow! Yow! Yow! Praise the Plethysmograph