I judge by what she's wearing
Just how many heads I'm tearing
Off of $$#holes coming on to her

Each night it seems like I'm getting worse

And I'd wish she'd take the night off

So I don't have to fight off
Every $$#hole coming on to her
It happens every night she works


They'll go and ask the DJ
Find out just what would she say

If they all tried coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work


They think they'll get inside her
With every drink they buy her
As they all try coming on to her

This time someone's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant


Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand
I wish you'd do it again

I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping

Here comes the next contestant

I even fear the ladies

They're cool but twice as crazy
Just as bad for coming on to her
Don't they know it's never going to work


Each time she bats an eyelash
Somebody's grabbing her $$#

Everyone keeps coming on to her
This time somebody's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant


Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand

I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again

I'll watch you leave here limping
Here comes the next contestant


I'm hating what she's wearing
Everybody here keeps staring
Can't wait till they get what they deserve

This time someone's getting hurt
Here comes the next contestant


Is that your hand on my girlfriend
Is that your hand
I wish you'd do it again

I'll watch you leave here limping
I wish you'd do it again
I'll watch you leave here limping

Here comes the next contestant

I wish you'd do it again

Each night seems like it's getting worse
I wish you'd do it again
This time somebody's getting hurt

There goes the next contestant