I was born on a thousand acres of Oklahoma land
Nothing grew on the thousand acres for it was gravel and sand
One day father started digging in a field

Hoping to find some soil
He dug and he dug and what do you think?
Oil, oil, oil

The money rolled in and I rolled out with a fortune piled so high
Washington was my destination
And now who am I?

I'm the chosen party giver
For the White House clientele
And they know that I deliver

What it takes to make 'em jell
And in Washington I'm known by one and all
As the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

They could go to Elsa Maxwell
When they had an axe to grind
They could always grind their axe well

At the parties she designed
Now the hatchet grinders all prefer to call
On the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

I've a great big bar and good caviar
Yes, the best that can be found
And a large amount in my bank account

When election time comes 'round
If you're feeling presidential
You can make it, yes, indeed

There are just three things essential
Let me tell you all you need
Is an ounce of wisdom and a pound of gall

And the hostess with the mostes' on the ball
An Ambassador has just reached the shore
He's a man of many loves

An important gent from the Orient
To be handled with kid gloves
He can come and let his hair down

Have the best time of his life
Even bring his new affair down
Introduce her as his wife

But she mustn't leave her panties in the hall
For the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball


I've been highly complimented
And I thank you what is more
You'll be damned well represented

By your new ambassador
For my one ambition is to make them fall
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball

In the handbag that I'll carry
There's a precious little note
To their highnesses from Harry

Introducing me he wrote:
"I'll appreciate a favor large or small
For the hostess with the mostes' on the ball"

There'll be no mistakes, I've got what it takes
To make friends across the sea
I'll make being smart an important part

Of my foreign policy
I'll cement our good relations
When I give my first affair

There'll be special invitations
To the Duke and Duchess there
Who's already written asking them to call

Not the priestess with the leastes'
But the hostess who's the hostess with the mostes' on the ball