I was never popular, this I'll admit, $#&@ school never liked me,
All the kids would always beat me, until I'm half-dead
Make fun of the size of my forehead

But that %#@! never bothered me, Mama, Mother
They had a lot of property
They had a science lab in the ba!@&(t

And that's where my free well, my time was spent
I made a mouse with a chicken head
It clucked three times

And then it was dead
I made a lot of things though, like a frog with a turkey neck
gobble gobble gobble, it was the %#@!

But I'm still lonely, I need a homie
So I collected limbs and made a zombie
I could've made a girlie friend

But $#&@ that, I got my girlie right here!

Chorus:


You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me

You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity


I used so many body parts it was crazy
I killed a whole bunch of mother $#&@ers , like what, eighty?
They all chipped in on my special friend

Everything helps, Even if you got a finger to lend, come on
I hear the other children playing outside
Keep it down you little (*##$es, I'll skin your $#&@ing hides!

Stressful, this part is wack
Some how I got to attach this nut sack
%#@!! $#&@! I'm sawing off an elbow

Looking at the meter I'm like Quasar and Zip halo
Or better yet look out the $#&@ing window
I see a storms coming, almost time to roll

Screw the head on, come on, come on
It's the thuggish, rugish, bone
Okay it's time, hit the switch, turn it up a heart

$#&@! %#@!! Didn't work

Chorus:


You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me

You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity


It wasn't always easy let me tell ya
But $#&@ that, cause I ain't no failure
I put the %#@! with the veins and this with that

Wait a minute did you hear that
It's alive! I just gotta wake it up
Hand me that Rock and Rye pour it in a cup

Give it to his $$# wait, hold up, pause
I ain't cleaning his draws man, $#&@ that
Get him fat, get him ready, it's almost time

Paint his ugly face up almost like mine
I see him twitching, I'm on a roll
He can help me tell the whole world about the carnival

Turn the hertz all the way up for this %#@!
And just wait for that lightning bolt to hit
Did it work? You make the call


Chorus:


You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me
You can call me Mad Professor

We will rule eternity
You can call me Mad Professor
I will make a friend for me

You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity
You can call me Mad Professor

I will make a friend for me
You can call me Mad Professor
We will rule eternity