Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun
But those rides just aren't for everyone
Bought my ticket I'ma have a run

In the maze (WHOOOO!)
If I don't come back or right away
Give me time at least a half a day

Don't just leave me lost and blown away
In the maze (WHOOOO!)


Hello ladies and gentlemen I'm Jeff Nipple
And I'm Jimbo Jizm
Welcome to the Dark Carnival's amazing maze

Over 5000 ways to get in, and no way out
Let's meet today's volunteer
This is Rick

We like to call him Rick the Dick
Dickface here is a wealthy entrepeneur
Who smacks his wife around

And buys his way in and out of everything
Let's see how Mr. Toughguy fairs up in the amazing maze


[Violent J]
What up (*##$? I'm Violent J
I'll be your guide for today, k?

Good, got mad doors and mad floors
Hallways, crawlways, walls for nedens
Make a left just before you make a right

And your left should be to your right
If your lefts right, right?
Good, begin the show

Go on ahead boy and open up the first door

[Shaggy 2 Dope]

Welcome to a theatrical thriller
Meet Jack Doobie a serial killer
With a chainsaw, he takes your arm at the elbow

You get it back if you make it out though
$#&@ ain't no use crying all day
You need to take your (*##$ $$# back down the hallway

You gotta be a man at least you learned
Everything you get in the maze you've earned


[Violent J]
Keep runnin times a tickin on the clock
You might wanna tie that stump up with a sock

Turn right it might look the same
But you makin tracks through the room of thumbtacks
This really ain't %#@!

About a million tacks and the room spins a bit
If you stay on your feet you'll be okay
Oh let me get out of your way


Oh boy Rick the Dick is in a bit of a jam there Jeff
That's right Jimbo

He looks like a ragdoll flippin and spinnin like that
You can always witness spectacles truly amazing
Within the amazing maze

Let's see where else Rick's adventures
Will lead the little dickwipe


[Violent J]
Hahaha, so you got a few tacks in your balls
Pick 'em all out and head right back down the halls

What's this? Dead end, doors locked
It's a long way back, just knock


Oh should've turned around no doubt
Ain't nuthin that we got to sit and argue about
Keep going make a left, right left

Now run straight ahead some more
Open up the door


Slide in the sheets, nice breeze
Relax ninja take it with ease
The maze is a place of magic

Many surprises, your dick rises
Lay down expect the best
In comes your lover with a hairy chest
Hello sexy I'm grim love
Let me have a look at your uhh milk dud


[Violent J]
Aww %#@! you fell for that
I ain't gonna tell you got your hole ring tapped
All that dissin of the opposite sex

And look who just got they butthole flexed
Wait! What's that?
The walls are closing in, $#&@ dat
Hurry run for your life
Ohh he'll be alright


How's that sit with you Jimbo?
First he gets plugged with bullets
Then he gets his butt plugged
I think he's a $#&@in idiot, Jeff

I mean what kind of $$#hole
Can't find his way out of this maze?
You gotta be a real dickbuffer
To wind up here in the first place
Right you are Jimbo
Let's watch the big dick $#&@ up some more


[Violent J]
Alrighty ain't no need to fear
If there's a way out it's gotta be near
Hey yo look a phone
You still got one good arm so it's on
Can you hear? Ahh tongue in your ear

Drop it the phones got a life of it's own
Kiss me man hey come on
Slip down the slide go faster
Bed of nails, disaster
Quit screaming yo, hurry the $#&@ up and open the door

[Shaggy 2 Dope]

Woods, trees you're outside
Lots of places for creeps to hide
Watch your step, AHHHH, backdraft
Caught your foot and the ankles left
Creepin off with your stump
Feel something in the rump
Holla's, yeah they gonna get you

How does it feel (*##$ get the picture

[Violent J]
Back indoors hey at last
Look at your family behind the glass
They look weird, they're sayin something
Listen up, "you've $#&@ed up, you've $#&@ed up"

Oooh they're laughin and they're pointing at you
At least you know what they're sayins true
It's one last door you made it home, or
Or what? Once again it's on

Ferris wheels and bumper cars are fun
But those rides just aren't for everyone

Bought my ticket I'ma have a run
In the maze (WHOOOO!)
If I don't come back or right away (Hey)

[Shaggy 2 Dope]
Hey man cut that %#@!
What the $#&@ man, happy friendly %#@! man
$#&@ dat
It's supposed to be wicked in this (*##$ man
Turn that %#@! off