I'll go to Alaska, (*##$ slap a polar bear and take its food
I'll mow the $#&@ing lawn, on a land mine field like what, boom
I'll roll a m-80 up in some papers, and smoke that %#@! up

I'll share a dirty !@(% needle with that dirty (*##$ Courtney Love
I'll run around the white house lawn, naked and screaming and busting shots at him
I'll scratch my back with a chain saw, oh yeah, got it

I'll walk through Compton alone, in sport Wranglers and a cowboy hat
I'll head-butt a $#&@ing unicorn, come here (*##$
I'll stand on a stump, and let you trim my toenails with a axe

I'll sucker punch a gorilla, and then try to run with a banana hanging out my $$#
I'll $#&@ing become pen-pals with the unibomber and let him send me packages
I'll drive a ice cream truck through Ethiopia talking about free ice cream sandwiches

[Chorus 2x]
What's the matter, what's the matter
what's the matter, are you scared

what's the matter, what's the matter
tell me are you fearless
I'll let Sam Kinison borrow my car, if he was still around

I'll bungee jump off a crane with only a spaghetti noodle tied on
I'll clinch my butt cheeks shut, while a ruthless alien tryin' to probe me
I'll receive an operation on my eyeball, while riding in a dune buggy

I'll finger $#&@ a toilet, and French kiss a light socket
I'll pick up a hooker with a deep voice, "Hi, my name is Jenny, Nah, no I wouldn't"
I'll take all my clothes off, and run up and bear hug a cactus

I'll sneak up to slick rick and snatch off his eye patch
I'll eat a bowl of cluster bombs and spread jellyfish on my toast
I'll $#&@ing grease my $$# up, and sit on top of a flag post

I'll shoot a game of pool, with the grim reaper and then let him beat me
I'll meet Jeffrey Dahmer at some kinda of bar let him take me home and eat me
[Chorus 2x]

Whats the matter, what's the matter
what's the matter, are you scared
what's the matter, what's the matter

tell me are you fearless
I'll through gang signs at the booya tribe up and downs like whut
I'll hunt Michael Jackson's plastic surgeon tell him hey do me up

I'll put my lips on a 81' novas exhaust pipe and smoke that $#&@er
I'll $#&@ a chick raw with crabs so big red lobsters trying to catch'em
I'll start a record label and invest everything I got on M.C. Hammer

I'll wear a pink bikini thong and walk right through the slammer
I'll take a chrome desert eagle 45 put it to the dome and dump it
I'll go to a big $$# bee hive on a tree, drop my drawers and hump it

[Chorus]
What's the matter, what's the matter
what's the matter, are you scared

what's the matter, what's the matter
tell me are you feared
[repeats until end]