[Intro: Little Russ, Ice Cube]

[story-teller] Once upon a time, in the black part of the city

[young kid] Yo G, yo G you better get out of here man, 5-0
[door swings shut, car peels out]


[Russ] Yo Ice Cube, man
[Cube] Whassup man?
[Russ] Why you...

[Cube] Whassup?
[Russ] Yo Ice Cube man, why you always kickin the %#@! about the (*##$es
and the ^!$$%z? Why don't you kick some %#@! about the kids, man? The

$#&@in kids?!
[Cube] Word


[Verse One: Ice Cube]

Little boys and girls, they all love me

Come sit on the lap of I-C-E
And let me tell ya a story or two
About a punk-ass ^!$$% I knew

Named Jack, he wasn't that nimble, wasn't that quick
Jumped over the candlestick and burnt his dick
Ran up the street cause he was piping hot

Met a (*##$ named Jill on the bus stop
Dropped a line or two, and he had the hoe
At that type of %#@! he's a pro

So Jack and Jill ran up the hill to catch a lil nap
Dumb (*##$, gave him the claps
Then he had to go see Dr. Bombay

Got a shot in the $$#, and he was on his way
To make some money, why not?
Down on Sesame Street, the dope spot

There he saw the lady who lived in a shoe
Sold dope out the front, but in back, !@!@&& grew
For the man that was really important

Who lived down the street in a Air Jordan
Ride to the fellow Mister Rogers and hoes
Drove a 500 sittin on Lorenzoes

He broke out, Little Bo Peep, smoked out
Saw, her and her friends sellin sheepskins


[Little Bo Peep]
Yo yo I got them sheepskins
Yo, my empty sheepskins

Yo baby, what's up with that?

Hickory dickory dock, it was twelve o'clock

Cinderella ain't home must be givin up the @@#!
I don't doubt it, she is kind of freaky of course
Had a fight with Snow White, she was $#&@in her dwarfs

Saw a fight over colors, too
Red Riding Hood, and Little Boy Blue
A bad influence? Yo I don't know

But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the story should go

[Interlude: Little Russ]


Yeah money, that's it, yeah money, that's it
This is Little Russ in the house

Rock that %#@! homey, rock that %#@!!
(Well, you know the rest)


[Verse Two: Ice Cube]

Humpty Dumpty sat on a wall

With a joint, drinkin some 8-ball
Three little pigs in a Coup de Ville
Lookin for, the wolf to kill

They're $#&@ed up and they want revenge
Them and Humpty used to be friends
Now they're enemies cause he's a traitor

Pulled out the Uzi cruised by and sprayed him
Cinderella hoeing for the fellas
And Mister Rogers is gettin mighty jealous

Of the cash that the pigs were makin
Time for the pigs to get turned to bacon
Cause Mister Rogers found out quick
That Humpty Dumpty was blown to bits
They said that the mother$#&@in wolf was next

So Mister Rogers better watch his step
So he let the wolf know
We're gonna $#&@ up the pigs, and take their ho
Cause Cinderella is much too fast
Before twelve, givin up $$#

Double barrels all loaded and @@#!ed
As soon as they show, they gonna get popped
They bailed down Sesame Street and caught em
Little Boy Blue is up front givin orders
Little did they know Cinderella was a fink

She called the cops and got thrown in the clink
A bad influence? Yo, I don't know
But Ice Cube'll tell the kids how the stories should go

[Outro: Little Russ, Ice Cube]


[Cube] Aiyyo man was that dope enough for you?
[Russ] Yeah you aight, you in the house
We outta here, seeeee-yaaaaa
[Cube] Yeah you better go home before I whoop your little bad $$#


[Barney Rubble] Some bedtime story huh?
[Bugs Bunny] It's a nice place to visit, but I wouldn't wanna live here

[Andrew Dice Clay] Ay, good ol' Mother Goose, remember her? I $#&@ed her