(telephone rings)
L: ajax liquor store
D: aja... ajax liquor store?

L: that's right, pal
D: do you guys deliver?
L: we deliver

D: you got any tequila?
L: we have tequila
D: tequila

D: you got quarts?
L: yes, we have quarts
D: i don't want... i don't want any quarts

L: alright, how much do you want?
D: i want fifths.
L: you want fifths.

D: four-fifths
L: four-fifths tequila
D: four-fifths tequila

L: ya
D: whadda we got so far?
L: we got four-fifths tequila

D: make that... better make that five
L: five-fifths tequila
D: five-fifths tequila

L: got that
D: you have scotch?
L: we have scotch

D: (mumbles)
L: i beg your pardon?
D: four

L: four?
D: four-fifths of scotch
L: hello?

D: so is this the ajax liquor store?
L: that's right pal
D: you listed in the yellow pages?

L: yes, we are listed in the yellow pages
D: how come you're not listed under "taxidermy"?
L: that's impossible

D: ahh. what? i'm sorry. what? it was what?
L: it's impossible
D: oh well i must have a couple of pages missing

In my phone book. what have we got so far?
L: five-fifths tequila... five-fifths of scotch
D: you got any beer?

L: we have beer.
D: alright. okay.
L: we have 16-oz cans and 12-cans.

D: okay.
L: well how much do you want?
D: dis... uhh... two cases.

L: alright, i've got that down. alright.
D: don't send any vermouth.
L: alright, i won't send any vermouth.

D: that makes my wife sick. she's outta town but
I do it just in her memory.
L: alright. okay.

L: we have... we have five-fifths tequila, five-fifths
Of scotch, two cases of beer; one case of 16-oz cans...
D: you just bring that right on, right on up then, uhh?

L: alright, where do you want me to deliver it?
D: up at my house
L: where do you live?

D: up on the north side
L: on the north side
D: ya

L: whereabouts on the north side?
D: up there by the japanese amu!@&(t park
L: the japanese amu!@&(t park

D: bambi the deer plays there
L: is that right?
D: where bambi, goes nothin' grows

D: you still there?
L: i'm here. alright. don't you have any address,
Any numbers, or anything like that?

D: ahhh... oh yes, i'm sorry, i'll see... five
L: five
D: five
L: five
D: two

L: two
D: oh that's not my address, that's my order.
L: that's the order... that's what i thought.
D: you can fi... i'll turn the big red light on.
You can't miss it.

L: red light on. okay.
D: there's a big statue of a brindle great dane dog out front.
L: he's not gonna bite, is he?
D: no, he's just a statue.
L: just a statue. okay. we got five-fifths tequila,

Five-fifths of scotch, two cases of beer, one case
Of 16-oz cans...
D: no vermouth
L: no vermouth. i wouldn't send vermouth and one case
Of... that's quite an order, are you having a party?

D: uhh?
L: are you having a party?
D: no, i'm just trying to work up the nerve to go to
Confession

(laughter and fade)...