A= airline clerk
D= drunk


{phone ringing}
A: ajax airlines.
D: ajax airlines.

A: that's right sir.
The proud bird with the cast iron tail.
D: ah stow the commercial charlie brown.

I just wanna know what time your eleven o six
Leaves for san antonio?
A: it leaves at 11:06

D: okay.
A: we have tourist and first class.
D: oh that's all right.

A: in first class you get an extra vegetable.
D: huh?
A: you can get an extra vegetable in first class.

D: okay, i'll take an onion.
A: we're going to have some turbulance.
D: no. i'll stick with the onion.

Do you serve chinese food?
A: yes we serve everybody food.
D: do you serve {censored}?

A: sir, i'm going to forget you said that.
D: you're one ain't cha?
A: say let's get back to the flight now.

This is a non-stop flight you know.
D: how much are hostresses?
A: oh they're beautiful.

D: are they topless?
A: no sir, regulations, they must wear hats.
D: do they mess around?

A: look do you want to go on this flight or don't you?
D: what's your movie?
A: uh no movie on this flight.

D: no movie?
A: no sir, a rodeo.
D: that's fantastic, i'll bet you clean up on that huh.

A: uh no sir, the stewardesses take care of that.
D: are they topless?
A: sounds like you have a one track mind.

D: sounds like you never saw a topless hostess.
A: sir. please. look, i'm very busy.
D: and i'm just a nobody. is that it?

A: now i didn't say that.
D: just remember i'm a v.i.q.
A: p.

D: huh?
A: p. p. you're a v.i.p.!
D: well then treat me like one you communist.

A: oh sir, sir.
D: hey what's san antonio like this time of year anyway?
A: oh it's beautiful. is this going to be a round trip?

D: no way. i'm just gonna fly down there and turn around
And fly right back.
A: now we're getting nowhere.

D: well thanks to me.
A: amen.
D: boy. did i eat that onion already?

Help me check this sucker out now.
She leaves at 7:47
A: uh no. no, the plane is a 747. it leaves at 11:06.

D: 10-4
A: okay. well goodbye...
D: hold it. just a minute here.

A: sir i'm very busy.
D: well how about me? i'm running around like a chicken with my
Legs cut off.

A: oh boy.
D: operater, would you trace this call and tell me where i am?
A: sir, this is ajax airlines.

D: cancel the call operater. this is ajax airlines?
A: ajax airlines. remember it costs no more to relax
In the heavenly skys of ajax.

D: well now we're getting nowhere.
A: thanks to you.
D: amen.
A: sir you're holding up customers.
D: i'm holding up customers? you got a lot of nerve,

For the charges you price.
A: sir i am very busy. i've got two calls to make, five on hold, and
Seven lines blinking.
D: and a partridge in a pear tree.
A: well that does it!

D: well it's about time.
A: it's about time.
D: time. oh my gosh. time. what time does the eleven o six
Leave for san antonio?
A: in exactly three minutes.

D: hold that plane.
A: i can't do that.
D: you better hold that plane.
A: look sir, don't threaten me.
D: i'm not threatening, i'm just telling you better hold that plane.

A: why should we hold the plane for you?
D: because i'm the pilot.