Now, I'm a real life cowboy
Just a quiet, humble fella
That's what we're like

Apart from Mike
Yeah, I'm more of a yeller!


Sing songs to pass the evenings
And because it soothes the herd
So they won't stampede

Unless Mike sings lead
And shouts every single word!


(MIKE! )

(Sorry! )


'Cause we're cowboys
Real-life cowboys

Not like the ones you see on your TV
We've never held up banks at all
We're poorly paid

And kinda small
If you still wanna be a cowboy
Stick with me!


On your horse for eighteen hours
And that saddle sore's a curse

Then you feed your horse
And yourself, of course
Though beans just make it worse!


Then you're back driving cattle
That's what being a cowboy means

Moving those beasts from west to east
Sorry, it's the beans!


'Cause we're cowboys
Real-life cowboys
Not like the ones you've seen in the movies

We're not big hunks like that John Wayne
'Cause our horses would complain
If you still wanna be a cowboy

Join us please!

You should be aware

We have some customs that are strange
Like saying 'Howdy! ' not 'Hello'
When you're out here on the range


Never touch a cowboy's hat
Never ride his horse

So what would happen if I took your old mare?
Well, I'd shoot you, of course!


(Fair enough! )

Cowboys,

Real-life cowboys
Not like the ones you see on silver screens
We didn't go out starting fights

'Cause unions fought for our rights
Now Mike will do a solo thanks to beans!


(How was that?)

(It stunk! )


And now my friend, I fear
That the end is drawing near

'Cause we only ruled the range for twenty years!