Everything your teacher says Is proved to be a fableThere never was an ArthurNor the knights, nor a round tableThe lady of the lakeWas just a made up story tooI hate to disappoint you allBut it's not true! It's not true!Teacher, though you jibberYou're just a great big fibberThere was no ExcaliburGalahad? No such ladLancelot? Lance-notGuinevere? Dear, oh dear!Look at me, I'm real enough!Not true, Merlin! Disappear!There were no wizards, so it's clearThat it's not true!While we're on the subjectI'm afraid I must confessThough Dick Turpin was a highwaymanHe never owned Black BessAnd Tutankhamen's tombWas never hit by any curseThere never was a dragon slain by GeorgeIt gets worse!Pirates never made their victimsWalk the plank on shipsSir Walter Raleigh wasn't firstTo bring back spuds or chipsRobin Hood and MarianA made up story tooOutlaws out in Nottingham?It's not true!It's not true!Teach, you're such a liarYour pants are catching fireThere never was a Friar TuckViking hat? No horn on thatKing Alfred's cake? Big mistakeIt never fried? The old books liedFrankly, I deplore yaI hope these kids ignore ya'Cause in fact, Queen VictoriaNever said 'We are not amused' (Your children think I said what? They think you said 'we are not amused', your HighnessReally? That's quite funny, isn't it?)Ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, haHa, ha, ha, ha, haHa, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha, ha,Ha, ha ha!It's not true, it's not true!It's not true, it's not true!It's not true, it's not true!It's not true!