I wouldn't be surprised if she stole the devil's job
With her pretty face and her pretty name
Because the worst he could do

Would always be number two
To her ability to cause me pain
What on earth was I thinking

Is what I think when I look back
And it's been a while
So I can manage a smile

But I can't seem to change the fact
That I don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives

I put her face on a wanted poster
So I'd have something to remember her by
But I know it's no use

She'll always be on the loose
Cause she knows all the best places to hide
She's got herself a brand new boyfriend

And he's a nice enough sort of guy
When they reach their end
Then he and I can be friends

This is of course if he survives
And we'll sing
We don't want to save the planet

If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
(No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives)

Then one night as I stared at my ceiling
I could hear voices calling my name
Outside my window

I noticed the glow
Of an angry mob carrying flames
Well I could see that it was Evelyn's fan club

Each one with a tear in his eye
As we approached her domain
I taught them all this refrain

And then reveled in the sound of their cries
As we sang
We don't want to save the planet

If it's the planet where Evelyn lives
No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives

No we don't want to save the planet
If it's the planet where Evelyn lives