I'm the designated driver I'm the nut behind the wheel
And I ain't had a drop to drink all night
My friends are drinkin whiskey and they're feelin pretty friskey

And I might even get to watch a good fight
Now Mikes lost all his marbles and Freda's gettin friendly
And I think her husband's gettin pretty mad

And they'll all call me a liar when I tell en in the mornin
'Bout all the fun that everybody had.


I'm the designated driver I'm the only one that's sober
And surprisingly I'm thinkin pretty clear
With a jug or two of whiskey and a quart or two of wine

And in the trunk they've got a keg or two of beer
And now I'm stoppin quickly cause somebody's Gettin sickly
And at this point I don't think it's the flu

And I just can't beleive I'm havin such a good time stayin sober
Seein all the things that drinkin people do.
[Chorus]

But tomorrow night is my night to let it all hang out
And you best beleive I'll put em all to shame
And I'll leave all the drivin to the guy that's stayin sober

Because that's the cheapest way to play the game
And we just passed an accident where everyone was drunk
And three people died and it was quite a mess

And I've been havin second thoughts about tomorrow night's revival
Maybe stayin home would really be the best.


Yes I'm the designated driver I'm the nut behird the wheel
And my passingers were really quite a sight
But no one ended up in jail or had to worry 'bout makin. bail

And everybody made it home alright tonight.