[Intro:]

[touch tone sounds]


[Children in unison]
Momma, Momma, dad's calling 1-900 numbers again!


[phone rings]


[Verse 1]
Picture this: the house is empty
You're looking at the phone, so mother$#&@ing tempting

Then you see us on the TV, so you copy the number
Real fine hoes make your mind start to wander
Dial 1-900 on your telephone

Hoping that your wife don't bring her fat $$# home
The phone is ringing, your heart is beating fast
You know I'm talking %#@! on your monkey $$#

1-900-248-2437
You dialed it again, that makes it eleven
Times you called, yeah, that's a (*##$

Call it again, 'cause you're making me rich
Five dollars a minute you call
After that, you get $#&@ed up your doo doo walls

Seventy five cents, now the rates begin

[Chorus:]

1-900-248-2437 (*##$es
A hoe with an attitude is $#&@ing with your ears
[x2]


[Verse 2]
The telephone company and the workers, too

Looking at your bill, tripping on you
Time after time, they see the same number
Them goofy mother$#&@ers start to wonder

So they went to the phone, and tried it for themselves
Four weeks later, they got to seek help
Just like the pipe, they call it addiction

You can't stop calling, creating confliction
Still your $#&@ing wife in the middle of the night
Me on the phone, you there at home

Buying me diamonds, then a fur coat
Next comes the rope off your mother$#&@ing throat
And after you steal everything you can

You go seek counseling just to get another chance
Eight weeks later, there you go again
You see the number, go get your paper and pen


[Chorus: x2]


[Verse 3]
President Bush, and Barbara, too
Sitting at home, with nothing to do

Knowing in their minds they got a big problem
They want to call up the hoes to help them solve it
Now what in the $#&@ they do that for?

'Cause Barbera won't soothe Bush no more
All the way in the White House, they blowing up the bill
Mother$#&@ing hoes, yeah, you know the deal

Noriega, sitting in his cell
He want to get away, to get some bail
He want to call uÏ? the hoes, but no collect calls

Just laugh in the joint, and play with your balls
Poor Mandela, just getting home
Calling up the hoes on the telephone

All the way in Africe, we got it going on
Mother$#&@ing hoes, you know we're too strong


[Chorus: x4]