I entered the room and the canned laughter
Ethel was angled across some dude's knee
I offered to clothe her to feed and to bath her

If she'd just give me a little exclusivity
Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is special to me


Ethel is a woman that a river runs through
She is famous throughout the land

People come and bathe in her, yeah, you know, I do
But lately its been getting right out of hand
Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special

Yeah Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me

To kiss Ethel is like drinking the stars

To not kiss her can make you come unglued
So if you want a piece of her you better get in there fast
Right now there is a ticket box and a queue

Depth Charge Ethel is something special
Depth Charge Ethel is something special to me


Depth Charge Ethel thinks we should all just take a chance
We should all love one another, it could be special
I'm in the back of a taxicab with ants in my pants

(I can't sit still) I know there gonna send me
Depth Charge Ethel is something special
She's something special she's heavy metal