When you look on this stage under all these bright lights
You just see some guys that you don't really like at all
Grow some balls when you choose tonight...


If you vote for me
You'll be doing the country

A really really big favor
Trust me you can thank me later
When I legalize everything


I can guarantee
You'll be

Much much more happy
With me
I can satisfy all your needs

For shady activities as you please

Like prostitutes and drugs

Bearskin rugs
Automatic weapons
Exposing your erections


It's high time
You vote for Einstein

I'll legalize everything

Euthanizing old people

Pushing bald eagles
I'll fire the regulators
Offer some toilet paper

It's high time
For Einstein
I'll legalize everything


If you vote for him
You'll be helping the nation

Live like the founding fathers did
And never have to bother
With laws against anything


He can guarantee
You'll be

Much more happy and free
Constitutionally
If you want to see tyranny's demise

Realize we should legalize

Proper care of nations

Without taxation
Buying the election
Exposing our erections


It's high time
You vote for Einstein

I'll legalize everything

Extreme religious sects

Interspecies sex
If you're wondering how I spelled those
Then you'll just have to guess


It's high time
For Einstein

He'll legalize everything

Every single inconceivable

Smokable drinkable thing!

Now who wants to see my erection?