The Count has an eye on his ankle
*And* lives in a horrible place
He wants all your money

He's never at all funny
He wants to remove your face


And you might be thinking what a romp this is
But wait till you meet his accomplices


When you see Count Olaf
You're suddenly full of disgust and despair and dismay
In the whole of the soul of Count Olaf

There's no love
When you see Count Olaf count to zero
Then scream and run away


Scream, scream, scream and run away
Run, run run run run run run run

Or die, die die die die die die die
Run, run run run run run run run
Or die, die die die die die die die die die die


Two women with powdered-white faces.
And one long nosed bald man with warts.

Things worsen and worsen, there's a hook-handed person
And others with nastier parts.
This evil and unpleasent group

Complete's Count Olaf's acting troupe

The goal of Count Olaf is getting control of

The fortunes of urchins and orphans, hooray!
I mean horrors! Count Olaf is no laughing matter.
When you see Count Olaf, count to zero...

Then scream, and run away.

Scream, scream, scream, then run away.

Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,
Or die, die die die die die die die
Run, run, run, run, run, run, run,

Or die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die, die.