Now when i learned to play the ukulele,
I used to practice day and night.
My pals all roared as i fumbled at a chord,

But i couldn't get the darned thing right.

They laughed when i started to play, they laughed so hearty.

Only two lessons i had, i went up the scale and down the scale,
It wasn't so bad
But one chap, he said "oh what a mug, why you can't learn that way"

He took the uke off me and said "now i'll have a try"
Just then the 'g' string bust and flew right into his eye.
He laughed when i started to play, but he didn't laugh again all day


Oh they laughed when i started to play, oh they laughed so hearty
Strip poker that's a good game,

Once i lost my trousers to a gambling dame
But when, i started shuffling the cards, then the luck came my way.
I won a frock and undies, she was left i declare

As bare as any savage and as savages are bear
She laughed when i started to play,
But she didn't laugh again that day.


Now once i watched a game of water polo,
With players from a ladies school.

The girls all cried "won't you make up a side?"
So i dashed into the bathing pool.
They laughed when i started to play, oh how they laughed so hearty.

In goal, i paddled about, a big ball in the water soon i started to clout.
Each time, that it came bobbing back, well i smacked it away.
Just then the ball turned over and a girl said "no larks",

"seven times you've hit me where i can't show the marks."
She laughed when i started to play,
But she didn't laugh again that day.