I make a date for golf -
You can bet you life it rains.
I try to give a party -

And the guy upstairs complains.
I guess I'll go thru life;
Just catchin' colds and missin' trains,

Ev'rything happens to me.

I never miss a thing -

I've had measles and the mumps.
And ev'ry time I play my ace -
My partner always trumps.

I guess I'm just a fool;
Who never looks before he jumps,
Ev'rything happens to me.


At first my heart tho't;
You could break this jinx for me.

That love would turn the trick;
To end my despair.
But now, I just can't fool;

This head that thinks for me.
I've mortgaged all my castles in the air.


I've telegraphed and called;
I sent air mail special, too;
You answer was goodbye -

And there was even postage due.
I fell in love just once;
And then it had to be with you,

Ev'rything happens to me.