I vaguely remember being small and playing outside,
With sticks and stones, fighting bad guys.
Who wanted to hurt, everyone they saw,

Cause they were mean and big and I was weak and small.
And I kinda remember growing up still playing alone,
And with myself in my room.

I remember thinking wow, girls are cool,
I can't wait 'til they notice me in school.
And I was so young sitting 'round and writing stories,

About people I made up who were more interesting than me.
I was supposed to study, get fit and fit in,
But I couldn't and I didn't.

And no one noticed me, and I was so mad,
Over being rejected time'n'time again.
That I started to drink, and be an $$#hole,

To every girl I met hoping they'd think I was cool.
Of course no one did, but that was just fine,
I deserved that treatment for even trying-

To $#&@ all my friends, who trusted me,
And thought I was sensitive or funny.
Then I met her, and I just wanted the chance,

To know how it felt waking up to her already being there.
She's everything that I'm not, reassured and aware,
Cultured and beautiful and she even smiles when I stare.

It's ridiculous to me, that she was insecure,
About me being too good for her.
Well, I met her once.

We still talk.
And We're in love.
Though she broke my heart.

She says I'm a jerk.
Because I'm so nice.
And for sticking around- while she slowly dies..

Well, I've tried to move on.
And keep improving myself.
And I guess I have, though no one here can tell.

I forgot how it hurt,
Because it always has,
Without letting up, but the past is the past.