Stewie: You've got to look your best tonight
You tubby little parasite
Cause there's a lovley lady and she's waiting for you


And though her pretty face may seem
A special person's wettest dream

Before you get to see it there are things you must do

We'll try a tie

And boutonnière of yellow

Or a rose that shows

That you're a classy fellow

With a posh panache

Of Jefferson and Monticello
Busting out a mile with style


I know you just can't wait to stare
At all that luscious orange hair
But boy before you touch a single curl

You must impress that ultra-boomin',
All-consumin', poorly-groomin'
Down syndrome girl


On any normal day you reek
As if you were on a farting streak

Your finger's up your nose and you're dripping with drool

But if you want a lady's love

You're better off by smelling of
A gentlemen's cologne instead of sneakers and stool


A squirt, a spurt
Of something just for Ellen
And you'll see that she

Will find you so compelin'
And she does because
The only smell that she'll be smellin'

Won't be coming from your bum

You wanna take that little !@^%

And spin her on the dancing floor
But boy before you do a single twirl


You must impress that effervescing,
Self-possesing, no-BS-ing
Down syndrome girl


Her eyes are emerald portals
To a secret land of love

And her smile is like the sweetest summer flower
Her kiss is so inviting
And her hugs are so delighting


And what makes them really nice
Is that they've got a little spice

Because they're tighter than a vice
And they go on for an hour


(Stewie and Chris tap dance)

My boy, between the two of us

We'll get you on that shorty bus
And then you're gonna take it for a whirl


Now go impress that super-thrilling
Wish-fulfilling, Yoo-Hoo spilling,
Ultra-swinging, boner-bringing,

Gaily singing, dingalinging,
Stupefying, fortifying,
As of Monday, shoelace tying,

Stimulating, titillating,
Kitty-cat impersonating,
Mega-rocking, pillow-talking,

Just a little crooked walking,
Coyly pouting, booby-sprouting,
For some reason always shouting,
Fascinating, captivating,
Happiness and joy creating...

Down syndrome girl!