I've got a flip phone. Contract is over. What is a guy like me to do?
So many options. Already got one. Maybe a smartphone just like you.


Yeah, while you were busy with Twitter, I got texts I can't see.
While you were were checking your newsfeed, I read a magazine.


It seems like your phone's always charging. Mine lasts three times as long.
I don't have data plan charges. It seems so very wrong.


My cheap wireless line: it suits me just fine. And when it gets dark, I have a flashlight.
This phone is enough. Tell Siri that she needs to take a hike!


I've got a flip phone, and you know that means I spend less money on apps than you!
Got twenty ringtones, with different volumes, just gotta go to settings and tools.


I don't need no built-in GPS. I'll get there with print-outs from Mapquest.
You scored eighteen points on Words with Friends. I've still got my old-school Scrabble set.


O!

Though my phone lacks a compass, I still can use the sun.

I've got three music buttons though i've never pressed one.

I can do long division. I can text-by-feel.

While you play Angry Birds, I'll throw bread at pigeons.

My phone tells me the time, and wakes me just fine.

No I cannot Skype. Too cool for that hype.
This thing is so tough, not even a flush would compromise.


I've got a flip phone. Camera is the bomb. Megapixels: 3.2.
You're Instagramming, my phone is slamming blurry photos better than you.


I know that I'm safe from cyberspies. This thing doesn't even have wi-fi.
Go ahead and pay 105. I'm still gettin' by with 39.


I've never dialed with my butt.
It's more dramatic to hang up.
Two screens now, baby, baby, that's what's up.

You're at a freakin' wedding. PLEASE LOOK UP!

I've got a flip phone. Contract is over. What is a guy like me to do?