How does one know himself, I don't know I'm lost
Just had a fight with my father that really hurt my moms
I'm not speaking physical but i could read it of her face

She was heartbroken to see what I've become in this place

It feels like a cage where i'm an animal just locking the pain

I piled it all up but just now something snapped in my brain
It's funny how some words can trigger a chain of events
I don't even know what went wrong or how this all will end


I don't even know what it ment maybe it is a sign of Allah
Maybe i'm just losing my marbles and taking this all too far

Maybe i need to stop reading and being open to the truth
And stop being blind to the man that it slowly consumes


I carry a burden too great but it's something I have to do
I simply don't understand why money means so much to you
Don't you see something's wrong, i'm not the same

Different mindset and ethics, different thoughts in my brain

I'm nearly 19 and showing no interest in girls

No interest in making money, i don't care about this world
Carry no feeling of love, have no nightmares or dreams
No longer drugged thus I have seen what it all really means


So I treasure my only sole purpose in life
My purpose is being worthless to show others the light

This is like camp Westerbork, entertainment for the dead
And I feel like a rebel trying to save people from that


But i'm sick of putting myself aside with no result
I'm tired of people talking without knowing about the world
I'm tired of being a stone and having nothing at all

This is the last time i'm ever going to let myself fall

I'm all on my own this pen is my only help

Like everyday's a challenge where i gotta proof myself
To you, but that all makes me wanna go and shoot myself
So once again i go deep into where humanity is held


having reached the dark place that i've been seeking
To find the source from where this hatred in me been seeding

I find the truth to be nothing more than me being feeble
For there is no such thing as inner demons just weaker people


But i'm sick of putting myself aside with no result
I'm tired of people talking without knowing about the world
I'm tired of being a stone and having nothing at all

This is the last time i'm ever going to let myself fall