There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists
There are Hindus, and Mormons, and then
There are those that follow Mohammed but

I've never been one of them.

I'm a Roman Catholic

And have been since before I were born
And the one thing they say about Catholics is
They'll take you as soon as you're warm


You don't have to be a six footer
You don't have to have a great brain

You don't have to have any clothes on
You're a Catholic the moment Dad came
Because


Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate


Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Let the heathen spill theirs

On the dusty ground
God shall make them pay
For each sperm that can't be found


Every sperm is wanted


Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood


Hindu, Taoist, Mormon
Spill theirs just anywhere

But God loves those who treat their
!#)% with more care


Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great
If a sperm is wasted

God gets quite irate

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood


Every sperm is useful
Every sperm is fine

God needs everybody's
Mine, and mine, and mine


Let the pagans spill theirs
O'er mountain, hill and plain
God shall strike them down for

Each sperm that's spilt in vain

Every sperm is sacred

Every sperm is good
Every sperm is needed
In your neighborhood


Every sperm is sacred
Every sperm is great

If a sperm is wasted
God gets quite irate