I have been searching for this unholy depiction of the self

An exterior sight for the meaningless faces that defy me






And yet I still fail to know all the reasons for this


Ongoing objection to all that I am

You better know when to believe in what you are seeing


For there is more than this shell






Taking this in is harder to bear since

The will of my being is unknowingly scarce


But I will learn through the ways of defeat


This rejection, it was channeled through me





So I am left with this unguided path full of plight


Where no one's listening or see my signs of grief


Because I lack respect

I must accept this fate for all these rash mistakes


And clear the view from here, my life in peril






Don't negate the signs when they are overwhelming





When desolation breeds your heart begins to sink


It blocks the will to see that you are out of line


So many years and still not past this all

Be aware of what you speak






This is the only way to reconcile my afflicted mind


And yet it's stressing me to undo the damage





If we look inside we will surely find the source


Of all the insolence, still we must judge ourselves before anyone else


I lacked the thought to see myself in any other way

To be the enemy I've always sought to kill