[verse 1]

I was born with a dick in my brain

Yea $#&@ed in the head
My step-father said that i sucked in the bed
'til one night he snuck in and said

We're going out back i want my dick sucked in the shed
"can't we just play with teddy ruxpin instead?"
After i $#&@ you in the butt get some head

Bust a nut get some rest
The next day my mother said "i don't know what the $#&@'s up with this kid"
The !@$( won't even eat nothing he scared

He just hung himself in the bedroom he's dead
Debby don't let that $#&@er get you upset
Go in there stick a $#&@in ciggarette to his neck

I bet you he's faking it
I bet you i'll bet he prolly wants to see how upset you would get
I'll go handle this of course unless you object

Ah go $#&@ his brains out if any is left in his head

[chorus]


If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet

Then you would know i've completely lost it
Is he nuts? no he's insane


If you could count the skeletons in my closet
Under my bed and up under my faucet
Then you would know i've completely lost it

Is he nuts? no he's insane

[verse 2]


You get it? no $#&@er tried to bite my face off
I just got $#&@ing chased off with a chainsaw

Then he took the chainsaw bit the $#&@ing blades off
Ate the blades stuck a baseball in a slingshot
Then he aimed at his own face let the thing pop

Took his eye out picked it up and played ping pong
Then he played ping pong with his own ding dong
That mother$#&@er's got nuts like king kong

Then he set the lawn mower out on the dang lawn
And he layed all up underneath it with the thing on
Then he took his pants he took every $#&@en thing off

Everything except his tank top and his training bra
Ain't he raw? yea maniac that shady dog
Man that $%&^$%&^$%&^$%&^x gangsta ain't he dog?

Shady dog what be going through that $%&^$%&^x brain of yours?
Say no more what the $%&^x you waiting for? sing along.


[chorus]

[verse 3]

Don't you know what felch means? (yea)
Well then tell me would you rather get felched or do the felching?
$#&@ 'em in the $%&^ $%&^x the $%&^ out while you're belching

Burp belch and go back for a second helping
Can you dig what i'm saying man? can you smell me?
I want you to feel me like my step-father felt me

$#&@ a little puppet kick the puppy while he's yelping
Shady what the $%&^x you saying? i don't know help me!
What the $#&@'s happening? i think i'm $%&^$%&^x melting!

Marshall i just love you boy i care about your well-being
No dad i said no i don't need no help peeing
I'm a big boy i can do it by myself see

I only get naked when the babysitter tells me
She showed me a movie like nightmare on elm street
But it was x and they called it pubic hair on chelsey

Well this is called $$#-rape and we should do the jail scene

[chorus]