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EMINEM lyrics : "Criminal"

[Eminem]
A lot of people ask me.. stupid $#&@in questions
A lot of people think that.. what I say on records

or what I talk about on a record, that I actually do in real life
or that I believe in it
Or if I say that, I wanna kill somebody, that..

I'm actually gonna do it
or that I believe in it
Well, %#@!.. if you believe that

then I'll kill you
You know why?
Cuz I'm a


CRIMINAL
CRIMINAL

You god damn right
I'm a CRIMINAL
Yeah, I'm a CRIMINAL


[Eminem]
My words are like a dagger with a jagged edge

That'll stab you in the head
whether you're a !@$) or lez
Or the homosex, hermaph or a trans-a-vest

Pants or dress - hate !@$)s? The answer's "yes"
Homophobic? Nah, you're just heterophobic
Starin at my jeans, watchin my genitals bulgin (Ooh!)

That's my mother$#&@in balls, you'd better let go of em
They belong in my scrotum, you'll never get hold of em
Hey, it's me, Versace

Whoops, somebody shot me!
And I was just checkin the mail
Get it? Checkin the 'male'?

How many records you expectin to sell
after your second LP sends you directly to jail?
C'mon!-- Relax guy, I like gay men

Right, Ken? Give me an amen (AAA-men!)
Please Lord, this boy needs Jesus
Heal this child, help us destroy these demons

Oh, and please send me a brand new car
And a prostitute while my wife's sick in the hospital
Preacher preacher, fifth grade teacher

You can't reach me, my mom can't neither
You can't teach me a !@#$ thing cause
I watch TV, and Comcast cable

and you ain't able to stop these thoughts
You can't stop me from toppin these charts
And you can't stop me from droppin each March

with a brand new cd for these $#&@in !@$!s
Duhhh, and to think, it's just little ol' me
Mr. "Don't Give A $#&@," still won't leave


[Chorus: Eminem (repeat 2X)]


I'm a CRIMINAL
Cuz every time I write a rhyme, these people think it's a crime
to tell em what's on my mind - I guess I'm a CRIMINAL

but I don't gotta say a word, I just flip em the bird
and keep goin, I don't take %#@! from no one


[Eminem]
My mother did drugs - tar, liquor, cigarettes, and speed
The baby came out - disfigured, ligaments indeed

It was a seed who would grow up just as crazy as she
Don't dare make fun of that baby cause that baby was me
I'm a CRIMINAL - an animal caged who turned crazed

But how the $#&@ you sposed to grow up when you weren't raised?
So as I got older and I got a lot taller
My dick shrunk smaller, but my balls got larger

I drink more liquor to $#&@ you up quicker
than you'd wanna $#&@ me up for sayin the word ...
My morals went thhbbpp when the president got oral

Sex in his Oval Office on top of his desk
Off of his own employee
Now don't ignore me, you won't avoid me

You can't miss me, I'm white, blonde-haired
and my nose is pointy
I'm the bad guy who makes fun of people that die
in plane crashes and laughs
As long as it ain't happened to him

Slim Shady, I'm as crazy as Em
-inem and Kim combined - [*kch*] the maniac's in
Replacin the doctor cause Dre couldn't make it today
He's a little under the weather, so I'm takin his place
(Mm-mm-mmm!) Oh, that's Dre with an AK to his face

Don't make me kill him too and spray his brains all over the place
I told you Dre, you should've kept that thang put away
I guess that'll teach you not to let me play with it, eh?
I'm a CRIMINAL


[Interlude Skit]
Aight look (uh huh) just go up in that mother$#&@er
get the mother$#&@in money and get the $#&@ up outta there
[Em] Aight
I'll be right here waitin on you

[Em] Aight
Yo Em
[Em] What?!
Don't kill nobody this time
[Em] Awwright... god damn, $#&@...
(whistling) how you doin'?

[Teller] HI, how can I help you?
[Eminem] Yeah I need to make a withdrawl
[Teller] Okay
[Eminem] Put the $#&@in money in the bag (*##$
and I won't kill you!
[Teller] What? Oh my god, don't kill me
[Eminem] I'm not gonna kill you (*##$, quit lookin around...

[Teller] Don't kill me, please don't kill me...
[Eminem] I said I'm not gonna $#&@in kill you
Hurry the $#&@ up! [*BOOM*] Thank you!

[Eminem]
Windows tinted on my ride when I drive in it
So when I rob a bank, run out and just dive in it

So I'll be disguised in it
And if anybody identifies the guy in it
I'll hide for five minutes
Come back, shoot the eyewitness
Fire at the private eye hired to pry in my business
Die, (*##$es, !@$(s, brats, pets
This puppy's lucky I didn't blast his $$# yet [*dog whines*]

If I ever gave a $#&@, I'd shave my nuts
tuck my dick inbetween my legs and cluck
You mother$#&@in chickens ain't brave enough
to say the stuff I say, so just tape it shut [*tape unrolls*]
%#@!, half the %#@! I say, I just make it up
To make you mad so kiss my white naked $$#
And if it's not a rapper that I make it as

I'ma be a $#&@in rapist in a Jason mask

[Chorus 2X]


[thanks to [email protected] for correcting these lyrics]

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