I don't understand
Why are you being so mean?
You're mean mean man


[Chorus]
You are just jealous of me

Cuz you, you just can't do what I do
So instead of just admitting it
You walk around and say

All kinds of really mean things
About me cuz you're a meanie, a meanie
But it's only cuz you're

Just really jealous of me
Cuz I'm what you want to be
So you just look like an idiot

When you say these mean things
Cuz it's too easy to see
You're really just a big weenie, big weenie


[Verse 1]
Alright listen, I need you to focus

I need you to go dig deep in your mind, this is important
We are going to perform an experiment of the sorts
I'm going to have to ask you to bear with me for a moment

Now I need you to open your mind-your eyes close them
You are now about to be placed under my hypnosis
For the next four and a half minutes

We are going to explore into your mind
To find out why you're so $#&@in' jealous
Now why did they make Yoo-Hoo?

Hippity ga-ga boo-boo
Psych, I'm kidding
I just wanted to see if you're still listenin'

Ok, now I need your undivided attention
Sir I have a question
Why do I always sense this undeniable tension

From the moment that I enter into the room
It gets all quiet and whispers
Whenever theres conversation, why am I always mentioned?

I've been dying to ask, it's been itchin' at me
Is it just because


[Chorus]

[Verse 2]

Alright now I, I just flubbed a line
I was going to say something extremely important
But I forgot who or what it was, I $#&@ed up

Psych, I'm kidding again you idiot, no I didn't
That's just what you wanted to hear from me
Is that I $#&@ed up ain't it?

But I can bust one take without lookin' at no paper
It doesn't take a bunch of takes
Or me to stand here in this booth all day

For me to say the truth, ok?
You're droolin, you have tooth decay
Your mouth is open, you're disgusting

What the $#&@ you eat for lunch
A bunch of sweets or something, what?
You munch a bunch of Crunch 'N Munch?

Your tooth is rotten to the gum
Your breath stinks, wanna chew some gum?
Yes I do sir, what am I on?

You sir are on truth syrum
Marshall I'm so jealous of you
Please say you won't tell nobody

I'd be so embarrassed, I'm just absolutely terrified
That someone's gonna find out why I'm saying
All these terrible, evil and awful mean things

It's my own insecurity!

[Chorus]


[Verse 3]
Alright now we, we're going to conduct

That experiment that we were talking about earlier
Just to see what a frog looks like when it takes two hits of ecstasy
Cuz that's exactly what your eyes look like, want to check to see?
Here's a mirror, notice the resemblence here?
Wait, let me put these sun glasses on

Now look in this mirror, how about now?
What do you have in common?
You're both green with envy and look like idiots with sunglasses on 'em
You look like I sound like singing about weenies
Now take my weenie out of your mouth

This is between me and you, I know you're not happy
I know you'd much rather see me lying in the corner of a room somewhere crying
Curled up in a ball tweeked out of my mind dying
There is no denying that my weenie is much bigger than yours is
Mine is like sticking a banana between two oranges

Why you even doing this to yourself, it's pointless
Why do we have to keep on going through this, this is tortuous
My point is this
That if you say mean things, weenie will shrink
Now I fogot what the chorus is, your just is...


[Chorus]