Please tell me you tuned in to last nights stunning episode
Young dashing Billy's true intentions were made known
And a projected sweet, presumed innocent, small town heart was torn

And we all felt for her
Well she better get used to the sting
All these hollow (*##$es are desperate housewives in training

In lieu of camera crew firing squad
Herd the lot of swine at the celebrity sneak preview
Through the gates of the slaughter house

We'll be waiting in the dark
Strap teenage !@(%es into electric chairs
Pucker up sunshine, and smile big for the bright lights

They'd all look better in red with bullet holes in their chest
Host a ceremony to celebrate short lived fame
Broadcast depravity

The season premier left us covered in tears
White knuckled, trembling, cursing college co-eds
Wishing we were sweet and sixteen

Divulging dirty deeds via video feed
Our ratings are down and next season is cancelled
Nothing in our days makes us feel alive

The drama we feed on doesn't light up our nights
So swear to me that this is real life
Apparently, you and me, we've been voted off the island

It's just as well... as time will tell, this crew and vessel are damned to hell