DON'T SEND ANY MONEY!
Fate has no price
Ignore at your peril this splendid advice

An invaluable link in an infinite chain
An offer like this will just not come again
You wish you had women to charm and bewitch

Power of life and death over the rich young girls will
be swooning
Because you're exciting them

And not only fall at your feet but be biting them

Guaranteed, guaranteed to capture your breath

Or just possibly scare you to death

Sign it and seal it and send it to friends

But don't mention my name
Don't make any long term plans


In thirty-six hours your fortunes will change
Your best friends won't know you
And neither will strangers

Do not keep this letter
It must leave your hand
You have been selected from over five thousand


A twister or dupe will bamboozle or hoodwink you
I can't say more it would only confuse you

The wine that they offer will go to your head
And you'll start to see double in fishes and bread


Guaranteed, guaranteed for a lifetime or more
Guaranteed, for this world and the next
Guaranteed, guaranteed for the world and its mother

Cherish this life as you don't get another one

UNLESS you should take up this fabulous offer

Don't leave it too late or you'll be bound to suffer
And woebetide anyone so woebegone
You won't know you're born or about to pass on


You'll never get tired
You'll never get bored

By the way I just hope you're insured

And if you're not satisfied

If you want more
We can always provide an improved overture
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable

This offer is unrepeatable

Your trouble will vanish

Your tears will dry
Your blessing will just multiply
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable

This offer is unrepeatable

Guaranteed, guaranteed to bring fortune and favor

In a riot of colours, (a variety of) and flavours
Guaranteed at a price that is almost unbeatable
This offer is unrepeatable


Would I lie to you? Would I sell you a dud?
Just sign on the line. Could you possibly write it in

blood?