The bartender's working on a late night shift
She's bonka blonds and Bon aims on a midnight drift
And the dance band's playing the same old slam

I'm sinking whiskey and you're sipping fine wine
I don't know what it is you're trying to prove
Well it should be you but it's me who can hardly move

And I've got my reputation lying on the line
Come on baby, be a good dog and help the blind


Won't you carry me home
(Like a truck, pick me up)


You ain't no lady but you've sure got taste in men
That head of yours has got you by time and time again
My arms and legs are aching and my head's about to blow

And your back's been breakin' and I'd hate to spoil the
Show
But I've just spent next weeks wages and I'm right out

Of coin
But you want more and it's half past four and they want


To close the joint
But we can't afford a taxi, and it's too late for the
Bus

But I've been told by friends of mine you're someone I
Can trust


Won't you carry me home
(Don't let me lie here in all this beer)


You drank all your booze and half of mine
I'm bleary eyed and you're waiting for the sunshine (to
Come and kill me)

Just like the man who threw me on the floor
Don't matter, while I'm down here I might as well try
And find the f**king door

Excuse me, have you seen my swizzle stick
And have you got a plastic bag 'cause I'm gonna be sick
I'm dead drunk and heave'n hanging upside down

And you're getting up and leaving, you think I'm gonna
Drown


Won't you carry me home...