He's gentle, he's caring
He's old, but he's wise.
He's one of those trustworthy elderly guys.


He makes our decisions, and thinks for us which is
Why I am one of, John Howard's (*##$es.


A man of compassion, a man of forgiveness
The truth's not important unless there's a witness

And even the best government has its glitches
That's why I'm one of, John Howard's (*##$es.


He's my daddy, he's my world
I'm like a giggling private school girl


He's my sun, my moon and my stars
Each night he beats me, and kisses the scars.


A man of integrity, honour and class
He'll lie in your ear while he's $#&@ing your arse


He'll laugh at your suffering, take Polaroid pictures
That's why I'm one of, John Howard's (*##$es



I visit his mansion, I'm his pool boy
He plays the catholic priest, I play the schoolboy

And after dinner, we say our prayers
And then he handcuffs me under the stairs


Most people don't like, to think they're a !@^%
What else can we be, when we still ask for more?
Thank god I'm not indigenous, homeless or poor.


Last week he beat me so hard, I took 36 stitches
He can't say he's sorry, but promises riches

And we mustn't think we deserve better which is,
Why we are all of us John Howard's (*##$es.