I know a guy who
Goes to shows
He makes me coffee

He makes me toast
He don’t use butter
He don’t use cheese

He don’t use jelly
Or any of these
He uses vaseline

Vaseline
Vaseline
Vaseline

I know a guy who
Goes to shows
But when he’s at home and

Blows his nose
He don’t use tissues
Or his sleeves

He don’t use napkins
Or any of these
He uses magazines

Magazines
Magazines
Magazines

I know a girl who
Reminds me of Cher
She’s always changing

The colour of her hair
She don’t use nothing
From The store

She Likes to keep her hair / Real orange
She uses tangerines
Tangerines

Tangerines
Tangerines