He's been trying with limited success
To get this girl to let him get into her pants
But every time he thinks he's getting close

She threatens death before he gets a chance

And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of california


And she's been trying with limited success
To get him to turn out the lights and dance

Cause like any girl all she really wants
That fickle little (*##$ romance
That fickle little (*##$ romance


And that is why a girl is called a tease
And that is why a guy is called a sleaze

And that's why god made escort agencies
One life to live and mace and GHB


And that's the way it is in minnesota
And that's the way it is in oklahoma
That's the way since the animals and noah

First climbed onto the shores of california

Must not be too kind

Stop thinking love is blind
Clench your fists yeah write
"she's just not my type..."


Why all these conflicting specifications
Maybe to prevent overpopulation

All I know is that all around the nation
The girls are crying and the boys are masturbating


And that's the way it is in minnesota
And that's the way it is in oklahoma
That's the way Aristophanes and homer

Wrote the iliad and lysistrata (not in that order...)

And that's the way it is in minnesota

And that's the way it is in oklahoma
That's the way it's been since protozoa
First climbed onto the shores of california