"I make my living off the Evening News

Just give me something-something I can use


People love it when you lose,


They love dirty laundry




Well, I coulda been an actor, but I wound up here


I just have to look good, I don't have to be clear

Come and whisper in my ear


Give us dirty laundry




Kick 'em when they're up


Kick 'em when they're down


Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down


Kick 'em when they're up


Kick 'em when they're down

Kick 'em when they're up


Kick 'em all around




We got the bubble-headed-bleach-blonde who


comes on at five


She can tell you 'bout the plane crash with a gleam

in her eye


It's interesting when people die-


Give us dirty laundry




Can we film the operation?


Is the head dead yet?

You know, the boys in the newsroom got a


running bet


Get the widow on the set!

We need dirty laundry





You don't really need to find out what's going on

You don't really want to know just how far it's gone


Just leave well enough alone


Eat your dirty laundry




Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down


Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down




Kick 'em when they're up

Kick 'em when they're down


Kick 'em when they're stiff

Kick 'em all around




Dirty little secrets

Dirty little lies

We got our dirty little fingers in everybody's pie


We love to cut you down to size

We love dirty laundry




We can do "The Innuendo"

We can dance and sing

When it's said and done we haven't told you a thing

We all know that Crap is King


Give us dirty laundry!