grass is greener at the end of the rainbow
my unicorn was born a one-trick pony
sign a petition to stop elvish racism

write a letter to Santa asking what's a fetish
don't shoot me, I'm just a messenger
my mobile's a zombie and so is yours

if a kid dies, does the ghost wear a sheet?
lovebirds don't $#&@ with strangers
real train molesters molest trains

bees are busier than firemen on nine eleven
you call that a copper? this is a copper
it's made of a ring and it's pretty cheap

walk on your kneels to avoid ambulophiles
sell your soul today and get free time
call seven-o-two triple-five $#&@ you

contradictions prosper, this is not a pipe

daddy long legs swings his magic wand

who's been a good sweet toothbrush?
flush down the goldfish to drown the pain
shooting blanks at day-care surprise visits

pop's served his country, a little trigger-happy
sons of guns got his cannon rhyming
%#@!'s out of this world like lord of the flies

this baby's gonna need a trigger warning
dying (*##$ stings like a jellyfish on acid
you put your puppy down sleepwalking


what's a little hairy and coming soon?
something wicked, no way, used a condom

they're stuck wondering if a dick can be funny
ever wondered, why did Mitch cross the road?
too soon for the sodomy world cup

I'm $#&@able

if cranes had fingers they'd be fingering a minor

the phallus is in the eye of the beholder
if you fly too close to the sun, will it stop shining?
who's gonna head-start the ouroboric marathon?

where does %#@! go after you flush the toilet?
when a bunny farts, does it smell like easter?


did you know that your tits rhyme with orange?
fact of life number two leproids lay eggs
swan-song of piss on king Arthur's gravestone

Cleopatra sneezed and had a cervical prolapse
water your flowers or they turn to politicians
nobody wants a burning bush in their bedroom


a mermaid only eats sushi if she's on her period
sharks are nothing more than lesbian dolphins

don't blame the bathtub for your lack of gills
girls with ichthyosis are the real mermaids