I go to college
That makes me so cool
I live in a dorm

And show off by the pool

I join the right clubs

Just to build an impression
I block out thinking
It won't get me ahead


My ambition in life
Is to look good on paper

All I want is a slot
In some big corporation


John Belushi's my hero
I lampoon and I ape him
My news of the world

Comes from Sports Illustrated

I'm proud of my trophies

Like my empty beer cans
Stacked in rows up the wall
To impress all my friends


No, I'm not here to learn
I just want to get drunk

And major in business
And be taught how to $#&@


Win! Win!
I always play to win
Wanna fit in like a cog

In the faceless machine

[Chorus]

I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal terminal

terminal terminal terminal terminal

I want a wife with tits

Who just smiles all the time
In my centerfold world
Filled with Springsteen and wine


Some day I'll have power
Some day I'll have boats

A tract in some suburb
With Thanksgivings to host


[Chorus]
I'm a terminal terminal terminal preppie
terminal terminal terminal preppie

terminal terminal terminal preppie