I'm tired of self respect
I can't afford a car
I wanna be a prefab superstar


I wanna be a tool
Don't need no soul

Wanna make big money
Playing rock and roll


I'll make my music boring
I'll play my music slow
I ain't no artist, I'm a business man

No ideas of my own

I won't offend

Or rock the boat
Just sex and drugs
And rock and roll


Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!

Drool, drool, drool, drool, drool, drool
My Payola!


You'll pay ten bucks to see me
On a fifteen foot high stage
!#)( bouncers kick the %#@!

Out of kids who try to dance

If my friends say

I've lost my guts
I'll laugh and say
That's rock and roll


But there's just one problem


[Chorus]
Is my @@#! big enough
Is my brain small enough

For you to make me a star
Give me a toot, I'll sell you my soul
Pull my strings and I'll go far


And when I'm rich
And meet Bob Hope

We'll shoot some golf
And shoot some dope


Is my @@#! big enough?
Is my brain small enough?
[Repeat chorus, etc. etc.]