Have you heard about the latest craze
That's sweepin' across the nation
All the punks from coast to coast

Have discovered an old invention:

"Your hair's too long

Man, you're a queer
You're too new wave
Put down that beer:"

and
Do the Slag-Look at 'em run
Do the Slag-Hey you scum

Do the Slag-Ain't it fun
Do the Slag-Let's all be dumb
Badmouth people we don't know

Make sure it's behind their backs
Don't let new people in our scene
It's more fun than having a friend

We'll slag everyone each and every night
So we can pretend that we're all right
Make those pricks feel just so small

We'll show the world that we're three feet tall

Slander their integrity

Doubt their humanity
Talk about their haircuts
Are their politics correct?


Do the Slag!
Don't let those sissies on the floor

They're unhip, man, they bought the wrong clothes
Let's all do the latest craze
'Cause having allies never pays

We'll slag everyone each and every night
So we can pretend that we're all right
Make those pricks feel just so small

We'll show the world that we're three feet tall