[JACK]
There were object so peculiar
They were not to be believed

All around, things to tantalize my brain

It's a world unlike anything I've ever seen

And as hard as I try
I can't seem to describe
Like a most improbable dream


But you must believe when I tell you this
It's as real as my skull and it does exist

Here, let me show you

This is a thing called a present

The whole thing starts with a box

[DEVIL]

A box?
Is it steel?


[WEREWOLF]
Are there locks?


[HARLEQUIN DEMON]
Is it filled with a pox?


[DEVIL, WEREWOLF, HARLEQUIN DEMON]
A pox
How delightful, a pox


[JACK]
If you pleae

Just a box with bright-colored paper
And the whole thing's topped with a bow


[WITCHES]
A bow?
But why?

How ugly
What's in it?
What's in it?


[JACK]
That's the point of the thing, not to know


[CLOWN]
It's a bat


[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]
Will it bend?


[CLOWN]
It's a rat


[CREATURE UNDER THE STAIRS]
Will it break?


[UNDERSEA GAL]
Perhaps it's the head that I found in the lake


[JACK]
Listen now, you don't understand

That's not the point of Christmas land

Now, pay attention

Now we pick up an over-sized sock
And hang it like this on the wall


[MR. HYDE]
Oh, yes! Does it still have a foot?


[MEDIUM MR. HYDE]
Let me see, let me look


[SMALL MR. HYDE]
Is it rotted and covered with gook?

[JACK]
Hmm, let me explain

There's no foot inside, but there's candy
or sometimes it's filled with small toys

[MUMMY AND WINGED DEMON]
Small toys


[WINGED DEMON]
Do they bite?

[MUMMY]

Do they snap?

[WINGED DEMON]
Or explode in a sack?


[CORPSE KID]
Or perhaps they just spring out
And scare girls and boys

[MAYOR]
What a splendid idea

This Christmas sounds fun
Why, I fully endorse it
Let's try it at once

[JACK]
Everyone, please now, not so fast
There's sometihng here that you don't quite grasp

Well, I may as well give them what they want

And the best, I must confess, I have saved for the last
For the ruler of this Christmas land
Is a fearsome King with a deep mighty voice
Least that's what I've come to understand


And I've also heard it told
That's he's something to behold
Like a lobster, huge and red
And sets out to slay with his rain gear on
Carting bulging sacks with his big great arms
That is, so I've heard it said


And on a darkm cold night
Under full moonlight
He flies into a fog
Like a vulture in the sky
And they call him Sandy Claws

Well, at least they're excited

Though they don't understand
That special lind of feeling in Christmas land
Oh, well...