It's a beautiful day
It's a rather nice day
A day for a glorious wedding

A rehearsal my dear, to be perfectly clear
A rehearsal for a glorious wedding
Assuming nothing happens that we don't really know

That nothing unexpected interferes with the show

And that's why every thing

Every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go


According to plan
Our son will be married
According to plan

Our family carried
Elevated to the heights of society


To the costume balls
In the hallowed halls
Rubbing elbows with the finest

And having crumpets with her highness
We'll be there, we'll be seen
Having tea with the queen

Forget everything
That we've ever, ever been


It's a terrible day
Now don't be that way
It's a terrible day for a wedding

It's a sad, sad state of affairs we're in
That has led to this ominous wedding
How could our family have come to this?

To marry off our daughter to the nouveau riche
Their so common
So coarse

Oh it couldn't be worse
Couldn't be worse? I'm afraid I disagree
They could be land rich, bankrupt, aristocracy

Without a penny to their name
Just like you, and me
Oh dear


And that's why everything
Every last little thing

Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go

According to plan

Our daughter will wed
According to plan
Our family led

From the depths of deepest poverty
To the noble realm
Of our ancestors

And who'd have guessed in a million years?
That our daughter with a face
Of an otter in disgrace

Would provide our tickets to a rightful place

Marriage is a partnership

A little !@&^for tat
You'd think a lifetime watching us
Might have taught her that

Might have taught her that

Everything must be perfect

Everything must be perfect
Everything must be perfect perfect
That's why everything

Every last little thing
Every single tiny microscopic little thing must go