I have a van
It's a special van
It has a couch in the back

So I don't have to stand
I've covered the walls
With egg cartons and foam

Soundproofed my home
So you and I can be alone


I am a man
I'm a frightening man
I'll do things tonight

You won't understand
Fogging the windows
With my eager breath

Zapping your flesh
You'll beg me for death


The open van door unnerves you a bit
I pounce when you walk by?a gibbering miscreant
I'm not wearing pants and I smell like burnt hair

My tazer crackles and lights the night air

I have a plan

It's a secret plan
I'll borrow you awhile
And shock you in my van

You'll writhe and squirm
Spasm and twitch
Fifty thousand volts

Surging through you (*##$

I'm just a man

With stun gun in hand
Your nightmare won't end
Until sparks fill my van

I'll tazer your soft bits
And giggle when you pee
Then we'll drive far away

And I'll set you free

I know it's wrong but I find it enchanting

Your body tenses and I can't stop my laughing
I like to pretend that you're having fun
Your grimace, a smile, lit by my stun gun